Ah… not that time. We’ll talk about that one day.
No, this is about the time that I was speaking to a few influencers about life… and friendship. And, I realized something… the life you think you have… is an algorithm.
Read that again.
You know how I feel about the online world after June of 2019… and honestly… even before that I was beginning to pull away. There are so many folks who will still say “Oh… look, he’s afraid to get back on social media after what happened.” No, friends… I was afraid to leave social media before that happened. Now, I’m afraid to get back on because I don’t know what my addiction to it will do to me.
I’d say once every few days, I do get a message on social media and it’s way refreshing:
“Hey, I don’t know you, but you’re super inspirational”
“Hey, I am sorry about what happened and I hope you’ve recovered.”
and lately… I’ve even gotten a few,
“Hey, I was part of what happened…” or “I unfollowed/blocked you because of what happened and I want to get to know the human you are.”
These things happen. And, a lot of folks ask me, “How are you holding up after it all?”
Honestly, fine. I mean… I’ve discussed it before… the suicidal thoughts, the hyperactivity, the almost constant panic attacks for over a week and then the weeks of wishing my very expensive heart would just give out. The months of uncertainty, which likely ultimately led to me leaving my job and moving to Las Vegas… one of the scariest things I’ve ever done. My special human flying in to help, her fighting back, me begging her to let it be and her assuring me that she was there to stand up for me when almost no one else would. Then, my favorite part… those who were in my algorithm felt I needed to reach out to them to let them know that I cared about them. Let them know they were still important to me… Those were the first people I changed my algorithm because of. I was in no condition to do that, and any human I want in my life should have known that.
But, it’s all part of life. Here’s what was important to note:
My life could be lived off of the internet. What a thought, right? But, it’s true.
And, here’s what you want to remember, and I’m sorry to tell you this again:
If you spend enough time online, your life is an algorithm.
I thought that EVERYONE on the planet thought I was a screw up and was watching me fail last year. Want some news? You ready? Some people had no clue what was going on… well of course until the bloggers who were attacking me found them and called some of them. Like… really… my charity? My step-mother? Those were some pretty awful conversations outside of the algorithm.
It’s the same reason I stopped going to bashes… “Wait, you did? I heard you were kicked out!” Dearest human, nobody asked me to not go to an event. I was asked not to speak at one non-bash because they were pressured heavily by the bloggers and lied to by people who had no idea what was going on. I was already making conscious decisions to not go to certain events I didn’t agree with. I then spoke to the few event planners I was working with at the time and we mutually decided I wouldn’t go to their events… by my own accord. The stories they tell about me after is between them and God.
But, bashes are the same 200-300 people who circulate around the country. They are just one algorithm!
Legit- your life is an algorithm. I’m sorry if that sounds condescending.
Check this out! Do you know how you add people from Instagram and Facebook? Friends of friends or whatever? And, you see the same things over and over? Those people keep circulating the same things? They get to know each other? Etc? You’re in a bubble of a few hundred people that Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. have helped you create. Sure, add them to snapchat. So did everyone else who saw that post. Read their blog… you’re one of a few hundred who saw it come across their screen. Even people you follow, you don’t always see! You see the same 50-75 people all day!
Do you know how I know? Because I spend a ton of time outside of the online universe, and always have. When people found me or Bold, they’d join the algorithm. They’d follow me and Bold and I’d follow them. All of a sudden, the few thousand (maybe just hundreds of) people who were in my algorithm were aware of them and they were aware of those people.
That’s literally how it happens. Do you know how else I know?
I’m changing my own algorithm. I’ve deleted over 1000 people from my cell phone, Instagram, and Facebook pages. I am not following the same people and I’m seeing people that I haven’t seen in my feeds in LITERALLY years.
If you’re an influencer, you know this too. People with 150,000- 200,000 plus followers get the same people who comment every day. They get the same likes. The same people buy their stuff, go to their events, pop up in their DMs.
There are billions of people on this planet to love, market to, learn from, etc. It doesn’t mean you have zero accountability. Be accountable to the people you interact with…algorithm or not… because it’s the right thing to do… and it’s something I had to learn the hard way, right? I’m still learning every day.
But, more importantly, and sorry if this sounds condescending…. please… don’t get hung up on the algorithm you’re in… okay? Because it could be the wrong one.