Well, I had my first Barbershop radio show on WGSN radio last week. And, it got me to thinking…. When was the last time I practiced what I preached? I spend too much time catering to others… even things I think are for myself: Going on dates, hosting parties, having friends over, listening, learning and growing. It is all good for sure! I love being there for other people. And, of course I have fun on dates and at parties. But, if I’m going to be speaking to men, I ought to spend some time being a man. And, last week was quite a rough week. Some conflicts with friends, a really difficult work week (lots of moving parts), some folks who continue to attack me personally and professionally… some tumultuous conversations with someone I care a great deal about… I needed to breathe.
But, what was I to do? I had plans the entire weekend! No time for “me” time. Parties, fairs, festivals, dinners, etc. It was all exciting for sure! I love my friends and the people in my life. But, mental health is super important, isn’t it?
After thinking and thinking about how to fit some “me” time in while still seeing the people I really cared about… something awful happened… I got REALLY sick. So, I had to make some phone calls and send out some messages.
“Hey… I’m sorry… I’m really sick. So, I definitely want to see you, but can we cancel some plans? Kind of make it low-key?”
Most of my people were empathetic and also stressed. Not to mention, they didn’t want me to get them sick. So, what happened next? A bunch of my plans were cancelled. It was both a blessing and a curse. I wanted to see some humans. But, I really needed to chill out at home. And, I had so much work to do. I guess I would just stay in and work on Bold.
Wait a second… is that going to be helpful? I decided to make a major change to my weekend outlook, no matter what my health was, physically.
After calling a dear friend up on Friday and saying “Hey… I need you. I don’t even need to talk or vent. I’m ordering food. Can you come by?”
We sat in silence for the evening while I sniffled and coughed. Literally almost said nothing. It was glorious. After a few hours, she left and went to see some of her girlfriends. I went to bed. Everything about it was perfect. I didn’t want to interact with too many people. But, I wanted some company. I went to sleep fulfilled and exhausted and not getting any work done.
And, when I awoke on Saturday morning, a little hungover from wine and Chinese food, I knew I needed some soul medicine. I needed to take care of my own mental and physical health. So, I woke up, showered, and laid in bed for a good 3 hours while I watched television.
A lot of people may read that and say…. “Uh, that’s not really a big feat.” For me, it really was. I fought everything in me that said I needed to get out of bed and do something because my body told me otherwise. It didn’t help at all that my body is still on New York time and I’ve been waking up before 6AM every day since I moved. So, by 10AM on a Saturday morning, I absolutely couldn’t stay in bed! I sprung up and decided to hit the gym.
Yes, sweat is good when you’re sick. I didn’t go to the two hour kickboxing lesson I wanted to go to. But, I did hit the gym for 30 minutes and do some lifting and light cardio. More importantly, I packed my swimsuit in my gym bag, a few towels, and some sandals. And… I rotated:
- Hot Shower
- Hot Tub
- Sauna
- Steam Room
- Hot Shower
- Pool
- Hot Shower
- Hot Tub
- Hot Shower
[No photos of the sauna and spa… because that’s weird…]
As I was getting out of the shower, I was completely re-energized. Maybe it was a mistake, but I decided to have some fun for me. No plans, just kind of go with it! So, I visited my housemate’s comedy show for a few hours, grabbed some keto dinner with them, and called a friend to hit up some cigar bars. After visiting a cigar club full of awesome old men, we went to the Voodoo Lounge for a drink and to enjoy our cigars.
My view of the strip 
The Voodoo Lounge 
Some more Strip 
Some Strip 
Some cigars to begin the evening 
Cigar Lockers and older dudes talking music made me feel like I was back in NY 
The Rio Hotel
And all this build up…. All of these details to get to one place. I ended my Saturday night at the top of the Rio hotel… looking at the view of the Las Vegas Strip. Well rested and relaxed. And, I felt like I was the only person on the planet… at least in Las Vegas
So, what’s the point? The point is that men need mental health days too. And, as a man who preaches it, I really needed to lay off of the work, pleasing others, and thinking I was pleasing myself by spending time with so many folks. I spent Sunday, all day, relaxing and sleeping, hitting the sauna again, and exhausting my dog. And, when Monday came, I had the mental and physical energy to kick butt!